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Shhhh… Listen

I was a little conflicted about my new plan and whether or not what I really needed was maintaining or stabilizing right now.  I thought the feelings would pass, but they only got more intense.  I finally broke down and emailed RC.

RC was able to help bring some clarity to my thoughts.  Interestingly enough, or just down right scary, it came down to one imaginary conversation I had with my twin, separated at birth, Cooth.  Here’s how that conversation went, “I’d tell Cooth to take time to normalize/stabilize because she had busted her ass and this isn’t a race.  6 months with NO cheat meals and 1200 calories not to mention workouts and cardio and that’s not even considering the 5 months prior or the last 2 years before that.  If she expected her metabolism to respond the way she needed it to next year she had better rest now and recover.  Otherwise she’d be fighting the same things she’s used to – stalls.  Let’s face it, we’ve fine tuned our metabolisms to be very efficient!” I knew at that moment I had the answer, but I still wanted to resist the advice.

At first the tug-o’-war was about to diet or not to diet.  Now that’s clear, even though I still want to tug on it, there’s the new tug-o’-war – listening to my body.  RC says, “The key is to get yourself just calm and listening to your body’s signals.”  Today I have officially begun to practice this.  It’s so much harder than it sounds, but I’m trying to take the mind out of it.

It starts with breakfast.  Every single morning (if I’m eating carbs) I make an oatmeal pancake.  I put my mixing bowl on my scale and begin weighing and measuring everything I put in this scrumptious pancake – ½ cup oats, ½ scoop protein, 112g egg whites (sometimes 1 egg and 56g egg whites) and a dash of cinnamon.  Today was almost different.  Today I got my mixing bowl, but as I walked to my scale I rethought what I was doing.  Why am I measuring?  Not going to do it, I thought.  I measured my oats out and eye-balled my protein, but as soon as I grabbed my eggs, I was back to the scale – 56g egg whites, one whole egg.  Then I thought, I really would like some fruit.  I grabbed the blueberries and instead of throwing some in, I found myself weighing them – 20 grams of frozen blueberries – almost in auto pilot mode.  I walked away feeling good at the decision to at least add the blueberries.

Snack time – cottage cheese, cinnamon, apples and almonds!  I refrained from weighing my almonds.  I resisted measuring out my cottage cheese and also weighing my apple.  In this short amount of time it took me to prepare a bowl of cottage cheese and sliced apples with a side of almonds, I caught myself wanting to measure and weigh everything probably close to 10 times.  Then I found myself wanting to LOG IT!  This is challenging.

Challenging, but I’m actually a little excited to listen to ME for once.  It feels very foreign but liberating.  2 weeks is the plan and the only real “plan” for now.  As RC told me, “98% of the success now in this period will be with your mind.”

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