My “Soul of the World” Speaks & I Listen
It’s hard to think that there’s not a reason I ended up with adrenal fatigue, even if I was one that didn’t have the belief system that “all things happen for a reason”.
I haven’t posted a blog yet, but I’ve chosen my word of the year for 2011.
I contemplated several other words; healing, recovery, patience, balance. My final decision was “LISTEN”. This word harnesses pure magic for me.
Listen can mean several things and sums up what this next chapter in my journey is all about. Listening to my body and what it’s telling me is a good place to start. I stood in front of the mirror last night bawling my eyes out, as I stared at the reflection and saw the weight I’ve gained – the time I wasted. I’m witnessing my friends appear in success story commercial shoots, while I sit here a slave to my body! I was beyond pissed at the amount of work I had put out there and the amount of time I had sacrificed for this weight loss. In that moment I quieted… and listened… and heard…
“And, when you want something, all the universe conspires in helping you to achieve it.” ~The Alchemist
I crawled into bed, a little more calm and centered – somewhat relieved. I picked up my Kindle and flipped to The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho. As I began to read I realized I was in another meant-to-be kind of moment. These words spoke to me…
Exam time! No one said there’d be a test! Didn’t you just hate the pop quizzes in school? I remember pure panic set in!
Throughout this entire process (okay, it’s only been 4 months, and 2 with the diagnosis) I’ve known deep within there is purpose that waits for it’s unveiling. There is a deeper meaning and understanding on the other side of this. Knowing this without a doubt has given me a boost of strength to endure the periods I struggle. And I’m constantly reminding myself that through my weight loss journey I have been prepared for this (never mind, through the weight loss journey I landed here). I have the tools to make it through to what lies ahead. I can also sense the same anticipation of wanting to be there YESTERDAY! I’m not fully embracing the journey – yet, again – but rather looking to the destination – I want to be DONE with this! I feel the sadness in that. There are many lessons learned coming to the surface to be tested.
“What do you think your ‘job description’ is here on earth?
What do you think you were put here to do, be, know, communicate?”
I think I’m getting closer to this answer.
Do you believe we are tested before we achieve our dreams? Have you experienced a setback that turned out to be a blessing?