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Letting My Short Term Goal Slip Away

I only had ONE more friggin’ pound to make 200 and one TENTH of a FRIGGIN’ pound to make UNDER 200.  Now I’m hoping I haven’t blown it.  My goal (obviously I didn’t care about as much as I thought I did) was to get under 200 and start the New Year below 200!!  Christmas Eve is the hardest day during the end of the year because my mom makes all those “good memory” foods.  The ones she’s made since I can remember, and it always reminds me of the warmth that family brings. 

Anyway… I had partaken in a little of the “goodness”, but I was proud at how reasonable I was.  I didn’t overeat, and I felt good.  Of course Mom uses LOTS of salt with the refined carbs, so my body was holding on to some water.  I was okay though – I knew it would come off easily. 

Then comes Christmas Day at the in-laws.  Unfortunately they don’t even know the meaning of “healthy”.  As we made our plates I noticed they were eating on what looked like “WHOLE WHEAT” sub bread.  I couldn’t believe my EYES.  Could it be?  It sure looked like whole wheat, so I had a sandwich and a TINY bite of her fudge (1” square), and I was done.  I “accidentally” found the bag the bread came in, and there wasn’t anything WHOLE about it!  OH, how deceptive the white menace can be! 

My weight is now up 3.8 lbs – now that I actually put that in writing it doesn’t seem so bad.  I KNOW it’s water – I can SEE it.  It’s just that damn scale that dictates how I feel about it! 

I’m just a little irritated with myself.  If I didn’t have this goal that meant so much to me I would be proud I didn’t binge like all the Christmases before this.  But with only one week, and now 5 days, left for the New Year I was quite disappointed in myself.  When I really just “think” about it though, I realize it’s okay.  I can still start the year out under 200 – easily!  Even if that means I start it out after the first week of the New Year – technically I still have 51 weeks left.  It WILL happen, and I WILL be amazed and proud of where I’m heading for the rest of 2008!


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