“I like the fat Tara better.”
“I liked the fat Tara better. You aren’t fun like you used to be.” My mom says to me. I’m shocked! But as I let go of this crazy feeling I have to be this professional person to fit in, somebody worth listening to, to be taken seriously, or to feel successful, my fun side comes back a lot easier. The person I’ve always been inside. I think it’s time to embrace my goofy side that used to come so naturally to me. Lately, my mom is right, I’ve been “too serious”. This is me…. A stay at home mom who is a true goof-ball at heart! And by God, I LOVE IT!
As I’m bouncing up and down in the pool, directing a private aqua aerobics class for my mom, I realize my loose bikini (yes, bikni!) bottoms are beginning to come down. I figure I’ll begin bouncing high enough that my buttocks will come out of the water. And as if I hadn’t realized it I’d turn towards my mom and surprise her. Ahhhh…. yeah. She begins laughing and I laugh, my kids laugh… and I realize, THIS is what she is talking about! When is the last time I acted like my normal goofy almost repulsive self… in all my crude humor!? Where’s the glory in hiding this side of me? Because others may be offended or curl their lip at me? Maybe, just maybe, they need this indirect permission to let go as well. Hmmmm? Why did we all grow up and get serious!?
This is me. The girl that belched her ABC’s in class, ran off boys I didn’t find too attractive in the same manner (which backfired a few times), farted with her friends ’til we laughed so hard we puked green beans out of our noses, used chocolate caramel candies to coat our teeth then smiled at strangers, used Pringles as not only a tasty junk food snack but as a great way to pretend we had HUGE buck teeth, or can in a fun loving way moon her mom in the pool! Seriously! I wasn’t born this way, someone had to teach me all this. Okay, maybe I was born this way. This is me, the girl that laughs at the silliest things, things others can’t seem to find humor in…. anymore. I’m the girl that can find humor in almost ANYTHING.