I’m freakin’ out over my weight again. I keep thinking if I’m going to do this, I can’t be fartin’ around with it, it has to HAPPEN! I finally broke my plateau, lost for Thanksgiving and then took a week off of all exercise so I didn’t over train. That week I also had the ediet’s member event, very stressful. At the end of the week I came back with a little gain, .6 lbs. I’ll take it! This week I added my exercise back in and I’m watching my weight go up EVERY DAY! I’m FREAKIN’! I remember Cathy telling me she noticed a pattern, and I can’t deny I’ve seen it too. The pattern being I’ll hit a plateau or a moment I’ll stop losing and I’ll wig out. Then in a week or two I lose, and I lose anything I gained plus some! But… I can’t seem to bring myself to accept this. I’m still freakin’ out.
I have sooooooo far to go (tend to forget how far I’ve come). I want desperately to get there, and I work so hard it gets pretty frustrating. These are the times I try my BEST to focus on all the other progresses I’m making, those non-scale victories. Such as, there’s a definite difference in the definition in my arms, legs, even abs. There are certain exercises that I can see I’m making tremendous progress in; I’m getting much stronger. This is all good, but the weight really is what I want to see go down! After all it is the ultimate goal.
My eating, I have to admit, still freaks me out at times. During rough times like this I question my nutrition, being a long time “low carber”. I’m really moving forward during these times by trust alone. It’s wearing me down this week though. I’m upset with no change, and only happy with change (maybe that’s exaggerated). Why can I not be happy I’ve stuck with it, and I’m doing the right things!? And something is definitely RIGHT or I wouldn’t have made it 2 months now with no migraines after 11 years!!?? It’s a BIG puzzle. I like games, right? I’ll stick with it – there are NO other options for me.