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February 14 – 20, 2011

Monday 2/14/11

10am nap (1 1/2 hours) (O-U-T!)
Cleaning (light)

Energy felt better after nap

Tuesday 2/15/11

9:30 am 15 min. elliptical – 130 to 140 SPM, Avg. HR 126 (max 138)
10 push-ups
5 isometric squats (5 sec. holds)

Ankles felt swollen after, energy waned for the rest of the day

Post Workout Supplements:  5 Gr. D-Ribose, 2 Gr. Vitamin C
Post Meal:  1/2 scoop protein, 1/4 cup oats, 1/4 cup blueberries, 1 egg, 1/4 cup egg whites

Wednesday 2/16/11

Energy very low and extremely emotional.  Stayed in bed until 2:30pm!  TOM arrives by bed time.  Hmmmm…..

Thursday 2/17/11

Chiro visit accompanied by a very painful b-complex shot!
Spent the day helping husband at the shop – very light work – running a couple errands and some very light house cleaning.

I felt more clear minded and stable all day = hopeful!

Friday 2/18/11

7:30 pm 20 min. elliptical – 125-130 SPM, Avg. HR 119 (max 136)

Post Workout Supplements:  evening vitamins (too many to list)
Post Meal:  4oz. beef tenderloin, couscous, caesar salad, 1/2 cup squash

Moving workouts to the evenings in hopes resting for a long period (via sleep!) after will help with energy reserves – strategy!

Saturday 2/19/11

Rested.  Enjoyed my brother’s Birthday party.  Retired at midnight.

Sunday 2/20/11

5:30 pm about 20 or 30 min. playing!

I under ate today, but I was never hungry.  My energy was “okay”.  Around 5pm my daughter asked me to go play with her outside.  Thinking THIS is what life’s all about, I accepted her request.  We jumped on the trampoline, only for a few minutes.  We threw the Frisbee to the dog…  And when she asked me to partake in a game she had made up that required running, I was happy to oblige her.  Our time was minimal (under 30 minutes) but indispensable.

THIS WEEK:  I’ve noticed I’ve been getting more done during the days and I don’t feel the weight of this heavy fog hanging over me as much.  I still have a hard time waking, and I’m also still relying on naps most days.  I am getting in touch with my emotions more – crying a LOT.  I’m not sure if this is hormonal, or me finally coming to terms that I NEED to let these feelings out more.  I can’t keep bottling up and stuffing down how I feel, even if I KNOW they aren’t rational, etc.  My emotions are deserving of being felt.

4 Comments:

I’m so glad to hear you are taking each day on its own Tara…Hormones and Emotional release are probably both happening right now. Balance moves into Emotional release so embrace the time that you are allowing yourself to simply feel as a sacred experience of recognition but, then let it go, don’t hang onto it, don’t over think and rationalize…simply allow, forgive and celebrate the moment within yourself and breathe…..this is the beginings of meditation my friend :)

Thank you, Lori. My hands are getting tired from holding on so tightly… I’m loosening that “grip”… letting go more each day. :)

Remember, adrenal exhaustion is all about hormones anyway…

I don’t know what I would have done without B-complex shots! I was getting one every Friday for two months… and they really helped me through. But boy, they hurt!

Have you started thinking about why you “needed” this condition at this time of your life? What was so unacceptable to you that you needed to escape by crashing out? For me that was a huge eye-opener. I totally created the condition in order to escape not only an abusive employer, but a life that was completely out of balance. I’m finding that since I’ve acknowledged that and started actively changing the things that were unacceptable to me before, my recovery has sped up considerably.

Hanlie!

Yes, they hurt, but it did seem to help me through. Actually, today I had a crash that I’ve avoided for days! (FIRST EVER!) I’m thinking that pain in my butt may be necessary!

I have done some introspection on how I landed here. And I’m getting closer to being open about it. But I need to think on it a little more (or maybe I need to spew it!).

I can definitely see the balance issue… very clearly. Although I’ve started making life-style changes fear holds me back from the “leap of faith” I probably need more than anything.

I’m going to give this more thought.
THANK YOU!!!

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